Quotes of the Morning: No Respect

“Poor Fearless Leader. These days, with his record of failures in Iraq, Afghanistan, New Orleans, and just about everywhere he’s ever been.. Well, he’s not getting a lot of respect.”
-Skippy

“IF YOU believe the old adage that you are what you eat, it is not surprising America's current president seems artificial, bland, insipid and rather unsubstantial. The man who cooked President George W Bush's breakfasts, lunches and dinners for the first four years of his presidency reveals in a new book that the most powerful man in the world likes no more than a cheap processed cheese sandwich for lunch.
‘Kraft singles on white bread was one of this President's most requested lunch items,’ says Walter Scheib, who, from 1994 until he was sacked by Laura Bush in early 2005, was Executive Chef at the White House.”
-Sunday Herald, May 21, 2007

“Last week I told my psychiatrist, ‘I keep thinking about suicide.’ He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.”
-Rodney Dangerfield

“I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!”
-Rodney Dangerfield

“Nature apparently isn’t too fond of him either..”
-Skippy

“President Bush found himself the unintentional target of a bird on Thursday, during a press conference at the White House Rose Garden.
The president was participating in a question and answer session with members of the media when he was hit by some droppings from a bird flying overhead. The president was listening to a question when the droppings landed on his left arm.
Moments later, President Bush noticed the droppings and tried to wipe it off – with limited success.”
-KUTV, May 25, 2007

“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
-Rodney Dangerfield

“I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.”
-Rodney Dangerfield

“And other countries?”
-Skippy

“One moment President George W. Bush was glad-handing Albanians on Sunday, proudly sporting a watch with a dark strap on his left wrist. Moments later, it was gone.
Did it fall off? Did one of his bodyguards remove it? Or did one of the crowd artfully slip it off his wrist and pocket it?
The United States Embassy in Albania on Tuesday emphatically denied that Bush's watch was stolen during his visit to the country, where he was acclaimed as a hero.
The Albanian media — and international Web sites — is buzzing with video showing Bush's wrist watch apparently disappearing while he was shaking hands with people in Fushe Kruje, 15 miles north of Tirana.
‘What the local media is saying is absolutely not true,’ an embassy official, who declined to be named, said.
[…]
People waiting on the sidewalks Sunday gave Bush a rapturous welcome, shaking hands with him, grabbing him by the arms and wrists, reaching out to embrace him and even ruffling his hair.
Bush was clearly delighted by the attention and plunged back into the crowd for more hand shaking and to be kissed on the cheek.”
-Associated Press, June 12, 2007

“I'll tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!”
-Rodney Dangerfield

My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
-Rodney Dangerfield

“Having watched the video.. They stole his watch. Right off of his arm. Apparently the Administration can’t tell the truth about anything.
As a second point… Can you imagine Fearless Leader doing this in any public event in the United States? Letting people grab him? Embrace him? Ruffle his hair? Maybe there is a reason or two why he doesn’t get any respect.”
-Skippy