Quotes of the Morning: Grading on a Curve

“I know that I go on too much about Iraq. I mean, sure the hypocrisy and deceit are fun to point out, but it isn’t like it’s a matter of life and… um.. Well, it isn’t everything. Sometimes other things come up that are almost a much fun to talk about. Things like Alberto ‘Thumbscrews’ Gonzales.”
-Skippy

“Now, you asked about Alberto Gonzales. He has got my confidence.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, May 21, 2007

“That’s nice sir, but I wasn’t asking.
It seems that Mr. Gonzales is proud of the hard work that he is doing and intends to stay on the job.”
-Skippy

“Beleaguered Attorney General Alberto Gonzales vowed Friday to remain in his post through the end of President Bush’s second term, in a ‘sprint to the finish line.’
In his most definitive statement on the issue to date, Gonzales made clear to his critics during a speech on crime that he would continue to reject their calls for his resignation. ‘I know that I only have 18 months left in my term as attorney general, and that really does not feel like a lot of time to accomplish all of the goals that are important to me. So often Washington seems to run at a marathon pace, but I intend to spend the next year and a half in a sprint to the finish line,’ Gonzales said.
The attorney general volunteered the comments near the end of a speech announcing anti-crime initiatives at the headquarters of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms in Washington. ATF employees, whose agency is part of the Justice Department, gave their boss a strong round of applause when he was introduced and when he completed his speech.
News reporters were carefully kept away from the attorney general so he could not be questioned.”
-CNN, June 1, 2007

“Why should he leave? He was the support of Fearless Leader. Fearless Leader absolutely LOVES him. Gonzales is the kind of hands-on leader who is willing to jump in and get things done.”
-Skippy

“Attorney General John Ashcroft lay in an intensive care unit after emergency surgery on the night of March 10, 2004, when then-White House counsel Alberto Gonzales made a surprise visit.
It was not a get-well call, according to a former top Justice Department official.
James Comey, then the department's No. 2 man under Ashcroft, said Gonzales and then-White House chief of staff Andrew Card went there to pressure the ailing attorney general to reauthorize a disputed surveillance program that Ashcroft already believed had no legal basis.”
-Copley News Service, May 16, 2007

“And why shouldn’t he stay on? It isn’t like what he tried to do with Ashcroft why the man was still recovering on pain killers was wrong. Or the illegal wiretaps, or firing those attorneys, or approving of torture, or any of that other stuff.. None of that was wrong.”
-Skippy

"’He has done nothing wrong,’ Bush said in an impassioned defense of his longtime friend and adviser during a news conference at his Texas ranch.
Despite Bush's comments, support for Gonzales is eroding, even in the president's own party. The Senate is prepared to hold a no-confidence vote, possibly by week's end, and five Republican senators have joined many Democrats in calling for Gonzales' resignation.
The attorney general is under investigation by Congress in last year's firing of eight federal prosecutors.
The president told the Democrats to get back to more pressing matters.
‘I stand by Al Gonzales, and I would hope that people would be more sober in how they address these important issues,’ Bush said. ‘And they ought to get the job done of passing legislation, as opposed to figuring out how to be actors on the political theater stage.’"
-Associated Press, May 21, 2007

“Dang straight! Judging Gonzo Gonzales on his politics is just wrong. If you are going to judge him you should base it on his law enforcement record, not his love of Fearless Leader (which is only natural after all.. Have you seen that man in a flight suit.. sigh).”
-Skippy

“The nation’s murder rate rose slightly last year but the number of robberies skyrocketed by 6 percent, preliminary FBI data released Monday show.
The statistics were part of an overall 1.3 percent rise in violent crime across the country in 2006 — the second straight annual increase.
[…]
The spike in robberies marked the highest increase in any category of crime surveyed in the FBI report, which was compiled with data from more than 11,700 law enforcement agencies nationwide.
Violent crime rose in every region of the country except for the Northeast, the FBI reported. Western states saw the largest jump in violent crime, by 2.8 percent, the data show.”
-Associated Press, June 4, 2007

“See? Violent crime is only up 1.3% thanks to the hard efforts of Gonzo Gonzales. Alberto is only responsible for law enforcement in the United States (except for those laws that Fearless Leader says don’t apply). Compare his work to what has been done in Iraq and I think that you will see that comparatively speaking he is doing a heck of a job.”
-Skippy