Quotes of the Morning: Merry Christmas Pt 3

“I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.”
-Steven Wright

“I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday. I will use the secular symbol of the season and hope that Santa Claus brings all of you your fondest desire, and that you all have the opportunity to spend the holiday with your loved ones. Remember…”
-Skippy

“He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.”
-Roy L. Smith

“The parent who gets down on the floor to play with a child on Christmas Day is usually doing a most remarkable thing - something seldom repeated during the rest of the year. These are, after all, busy parents committed to their work or their success in the larger society, and they do not have much left-over time in which to play with their children.”
-Brian Sutton-Smith

“At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year.”
-Thomas Tusser

“And let’s all appreciate what we have. Merry Christmas everyone.”
-Skippy

“Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...”
-Berke Breathed

“A good conscience is a continual Christmas.”
-Benjamin Franklin