Quotes of the Morning: Controlled Explosion

“As the War on Terra marches on, we can rely on Fearless Leader to make sure that our troops have exactly what they need to deal with the grueling day-to-day life of our brave soldiers waging a counterinsurgency against the Iraqi civil war.”
-Skippy

“Rushed by President Bush's decision to reinforce Baghdad with thousands more U.S. troops, two Army combat brigades are skipping their usual session at the Army's premier training range in California and instead are making final preparations at their home bases.
[…]
Army officials say the two brigades will be as ready as any others that deploy to Iraq, even though they will not have the benefit of training in counterinsurgency tactics at the National Training Center at Fort Irwin, Calif., which has been outfitted to simulate conditions in Iraq for units that are heading there on year-long tours.”
-Associated Press, February 27, 2007

“Even under-trained our troops are the finest in the world. Even under-trained and under-staffed they have managed to completely settle Iraq down.”
-Skippy

“Many parts of Iraq are stable now. But, uh, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everyone.”
-Laura Bush, February 26, 2007

“That is true. Unless we ignore that one bombing a day the terrorists have already won. Today I am ignoring this one.”
-Skippy

“A car bomb killed at least ten people in a crowded commercial area of western Baghdad on Wednesday, police said.
The blast occurred in Baiyaa, a mixed neighborhood, just after the morning rush hour, police said. At least 20 people were wounded, they said.”
-Associated Press, February 28, 2007

“Yesterday it was this one..”
-Skippy

“A car bomb exploded Tuesday near a park popular with young soccer players, killing at least 18 boys in [Ramadi] a city west of Baghdad known as a center of the Sunni insurgency, police said.”
-Associated Press, February 27, 2008

“Unfortunately there was more than one bombing yesterday. What about this?”
-Skippy

“Bombings have not slackened off, with at least 10 people killed in blasts around Baghdad on Tuesday. However, an apparent success of the clampdown can be measured in the morgues: a sharp drop in the number of bullet-riddled bodies found in the streets of the capital, victims of sectarian death squads.”
-Associated Press, February 28, 2007

“I guess that that is a good thing / bad thing situation.. Less bullet-riddled bodies in the street! Whoo hoo! Still, that sounds like more than one bombing yesterday.. Hmm.. Can we get that number down?”
-Skippy

“Iraq's government and police said a bomb blast near a soccer field in the western city of Ramadi on Tuesday killed 18 people, mostly children, but the U.S. military said it was unaware of such an attack.”
-Reuters, February 27, 2007

“See? The soccer field thing never happened. The military said so. It wasn’t a car bomb. No, the military has a much more likely story.”
-Skippy

“The U.S. military said its soldiers had carried out a controlled explosion in Ramadi, near a soccer field, that wounded 30 people, including nine children.
‘I can't imagine there would be another attack involving children without our people knowing,’ said Major Jeff Pool, a spokesman for U.S. forces in western Anbar province. The wounded had cuts and bruises, he said.”
-Reuters, February 27, 2007

“See? It wasn’t the insurgency at all. It was us wounding (but not killing) nine children and 21 other people in a ‘controlled explosion’.”
-Skippy

“You keep using that word -- I do not think it means what you think it means.”
-Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride