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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Quotes of the Morning: The Horror

“Bart: Come join us, Lisa. It's so cool: you get to stay up all night drinking blood.
Milhouse: And if you say you're a vampire, you get a free small soda at the movies.”
-Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror IV

“Homer: Bart! How many times have I told you not to bite your sis -- [gasps] Wait a minute! You *are* a vampire!
Abe: Quick! We have to kill the boy! [holds a stake and mallet]
Marge: How do you know he's a vampire?
Abe: He's a vampire? Aah!”
-Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror IV

“Lisa: The only way to get Bart back is to kill the head vampire: Mr. Burns!
Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?”
-Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror IV

“Yes, vampires are scary, but that is nowhere need as frightening as this recently discovered tape indicating the conversations that Fearless Leader had with his advisor prior to the Iraq war…”
-Skippy


“Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That's bad.”
-Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror II

“Hmm… Maybe that wasn’t Fearless Leader after all (though it does sound an awful lot like him). My mistake. Still, the real thing is scary enough.”
-Skippy


“The top U.S. military commander in Iraq, Gen. George W. Casey Jr., predicted last week that Iraqi security forces would be able to take control of the country in 12 to 18 months. But several days spent with American units training the Iraqi police illustrated why those soldiers on the ground believe it may take decades longer than Casey's assessment....

‘I wouldn't let half of them feed my dog,’ 1st Lt. Floyd D. Estes Jr., a former head of the police transition team, said of the Iraqi police. ‘I just don't trust them.’
[…]

[Jon Moore, the deputy team chief] estimated it would take 30 to 40 years before the Iraqi police could function properly, perhaps longer if the militia infiltration and corruption continue to increase. His colleagues nodded.
‘It's very, very slow-moving,’ Estes said.
‘No,’ said Sgt. 1st Class William T. King Jr., another member of the team. ‘It's moving in reverse.’”
-Washington Post, October 31, 2006

“Happy Halloween everyone, and remember that election day is next week.”
-Skippy

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