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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Quotes of the Morning: Lord of the White House

“Embattled U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said America has avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the ‘Eye of Mordor’ has instead been drawn to Iraq.
Santorum used the analogy from one of his favorite books, J.R.R. Tolkien's 1950s fantasy classic, ‘Lord of the Rings,’ to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand.
‘As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,’ Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth.

‘It's being drawn to Iraq and it's not being drawn to the U.S.,’ he continued. ‘You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don't want the Eye to come back here to the United States.’"
-The Herald-Standard (Uniontown, PA), October 17, 2006

“Gandalf: He's suffered a defeat, yes, but... behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping.

Gimli: Let him stay there. *Let him rot!* Why should we care?
Gandalf: Because 10,000 Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom. I've sent him to his death.
Aragorn: No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time... and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can give him that.
Gimli: How?
Aragorn: Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his lands. Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate.
Eomer: We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms.
Aragorn: Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves.
Legolas: A diversion.
Gandalf: Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait.”
-The Lord of the Rings, Return of the King

“Of course! That explains our tactics in Iraq. We don’t really expect to win the war there. Iraq is just a distraction to draw the Eye of Sauron away from the United States so that Fearless Leader can destroy the One True Ring and end terrorism once and for all. Now that Senator Santorum has said it it all seems so.. obvious.”

“The recent arrests that our fellow citizens are now learning about are a stark reminder that this nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom to hurt our nation. “
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, August 10, 2006

“Aragorn: Are you frightened?

Frodo: Yes.
Aragorn: Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.”
-Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring

“Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee. Have you been eavesdropping?

Sam: I haven't been droppin' no eaves sir, honest. I was just cutting the grass under the window there, if you'll follow me.
Gandalf: A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think? Sam: I heard raised voices.
Gandalf: What did you hear? Speak.
Sam: N-nothing important. That is, I heard a good deal about a ring, and a dark lord, and something about the end of the world, but nothing important. Please, Mr. Gandalf, sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anything... unnatural.”
-Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring

“The National Security Agency has been secretly collecting the phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, using data provided by AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth, people with direct knowledge of the arrangement told USA TODAY.”
-USA Today, May 11, 2006

“Saruman: We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend.

Gandalf: Tell me, ‘friend’, when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?”
-Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring

“We support the election process, we support democracy, but that doesn't mean we have to support governments that get elected as a result of democracy.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, March 29, 2006

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, July 26, 2001

“Gollum: It came to me, my own, my love... my... preciousssss.”
-Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring


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