Quotes of the Morning: Dogmatic

“Iraqi Shiite residents of Baghdad's Sadr City expressed anger yesterday over a picture of a grinning Jesus they mistook for a Shiite holy figure that appeared in the area after a joint US-Iraqi operation. Residents found a picture of ‘Buddy Jesus’ from the 1999 film ‘Dogma’ posted in the streets, accompanied by a badly photocopied pamphlet bearing a crude approximation of a US military crest and outlining a US ‘plan’ to subjugate the neighbourhood.”
-AFP, October 1, 2006

“Ok, that is completely silly. Kevin Smith’s movie was making fun of some aspects of Christianity (specifically the Roman Catholic church), not Islam. Don’t believe me? I’ll give you quotes.. Oh, and the figure was called ‘Buddy Christ’, not ‘Buddy Jesus’.”
-Skippy

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now we all know how the majority and the media in this country view the Catholic church. They think of us as a passe, archaic institution. People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey. Now in an effort to disprove all that the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal... both of faith and of style. For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time honored symbol of our faith, Holy Mother Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing image of our Lord crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster. And it is with that take on our Lord in mind that we've come up with a new, more inspiring sigil. So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the ‘Catholicism WOW. ‘ campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ...”
-Cardinal Glick (George Carlin), Dogma

Cardinal Glick: Fill them pews, people, that's the key. Grab the little ones as well. Hook 'em while they're young.
Rufus: Kind of like the tobacco industry?
Cardinal Glick: Christ, if only we had their numbers.
-Dogma

Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.
Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silent consent to the slave trade?
Bethany: And its platform of noninvolvement during the Holocaust?
Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.
-Dogma

“Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence.”
-Serendipity, Dogma

“Bethany: I think God is dead.
Liz: The sign of a true Catholic.”
-Dogma

“So you see, Dogma was a movie that I can understand pissing people off, but not the Islamic people, and certainly not like this..”
-Skippy

“A car bomb detonated in Shaab, a mainly Shiite district of Baghdad, soon after the evening's iftar meal. The blast killed 10 people and wounded 23, said Abdul-Karim Khalaf, an Interior Ministry spokesman. It was the deadliest attack on a day when at least 18 Iraqis were killed across the country.”
-Associated Press, October 10, 2006

“Apparently there is a lot of religious warfare in Iraq now (go figure). It is Sunni vs. Shiite vs. Kurds and it is beginning to break down to the religious factions within the larger groups also.”
-Skippy

“Rufus: He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, but especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it.
Bethany: Having beliefs isn't good?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. Life should malleable and progressive; working from idea to idea permits that. Beliefs anchor you to certain points and limit growth; new ideas can't generate. Life becomes stagnant.”
-Dogma

“Nope. I love the movie Dogma, but I realize that it might be a bit much for some people.. Still, I can’t understand why it would generate this kind of hatred..”
-Skippy

“Nun: You don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?
Loki: No, ‘Through the Looking Glass’. That poem, ‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’ that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or... or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do... what do they do? They... They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one's inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions... by inhibiting our decisions, out of... out of fear of some... some intangible parent figure who... who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says... and says, ‘Do it - Do it and I'll f*ckin' spank you.‘"
-Dogma

“It is just kind of sad when a misunderstanding about a movie can go so far to justify its premise.. Some days I don’t understand the world.”
-Skippy

“I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it.”
-Serendipity, Dogma