Quotes of the Morning: Merry Christmas

“I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.”
-Henny Youngman

“The parent who gets down on the floor to play with a child on Christmas Day is usually doing a most remarkable thing - something seldom repeated during the rest of the year. These are, after all, busy parents committed to their work or their success in the larger society, and they do not have much left-over time in which to play with their children.”
-Brian Sutton-Smith

“Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...”
-Berke Breathed