Quotes of the Morning: Saving American Christmas

“Every company in America should be on their knees thanking Jesus for being born. Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable. More than enough reason for business to be screaming ‘Merry Christmas.’”
-Bill O’Reilly, November 28, 2005

“Pope Benedict warned on Sunday against rampant materialism which he said was polluting the spirit of Christmas.
‘In today's consumer society, this time of the year unfortunately suffers from a sort of commercial 'pollution' that threatens to alter its real spirit,’ the Pope told a large crowd gathered in St. Peter's Square to hear his weekly Angelus blessing.
He said Christmas should be marked with sober celebrations and urged Christians to display a nativity crib in their houses as ‘a simple but effective way of showing their faith and conveying it to their children.’"
-Reuters, December 11, 2005

“Why does the Pope hate American Christmas™ so much? Is he trying to ruin the economy? And what can Bill O’Reilly do to keep the TRUE spirit of American Christmas™ alive?”
-Skippy

“This is America. This is the big commercial holiday. You're not going to acknowledge the holiday? Then I'm not shopping there. And that's what the bottom line is here.”
-Bill O’Reilly, November 30, 2005

“Here you have a national public holiday signed into law by Ulysses S. Grant in 1870. Christmas, all right? Federal holiday, everybody gets off, no mail delivered, everybody shuts down. Federal holiday. Why is it there? To honor a philosopher, Jesus. Whose philosophy was part of the foundation of our country. All of this is indisputable. Can't dispute it. OK? A man was born, his name is Jesus, he had a philosophy, the philosophy was incorporated by the Founding Fathers to make up the United States of America, U.S. Grant signs into law the holiday, Christmas. Now, we have people who are offended by that. Well, tough, right? Tough. Some people are offended by fingernails; I'm not pulling mine out. So I'm feeling -- I'm offended by everything you do, we're not firing you. OK? Offended? Too bad.”
-Bill O’Reilly, November 30, 2005

“Well I’m now convinced that the Pope is working against the American Christmas™ (brought to you by Coca-Cola). That does it. The Pope is anti-American Christmas™. He’s probably working with all of those other anti-American Christmas™ people to sabotage our way of life.”
-Skippy

“Secular progressives which are driving this movement, OK, don't want Christmas. They don't want it as a federal holiday, they don't want any message of spirituality or Judeo-Christian tradition because that stands in the way of gay marriage, legalized drugs, euthanasia, all of the greatest hits on the secular progressive play card.”
-Bill O’Reilly, November 30, 2005

“Speaking as a secular progressive I would like to say that I want Christmas as a federal holiday. I’d also like Festivus, the equinox (vernal and autumnal) and the winter solstice. Actually, I just don’t want to go to work. Who do I have to stop to keep my day off intact?”
-Skippy

“George Soros. He's the moneyman behind it.”
-Bill O’Reilly, November 30, 2005

“Oh sure.. Mr. Soros is the obvious one to try to defeat American Christmas™. First he tried to stop our Fearless Leader in the last election, and now he’s trying to stop our traditional American Christmas™. Why would Mr. Soros (who just happens to be Jewish) have problems with American Christmas™? I mean, celebrating the birth of the Lord God by indulging in rampant consumerism is what American Christmas™ is all about. It isn’t like we are making a state religion here..”
-Skippy

“Christians aren't going to be mad if you say ‘Happy Hanukkah’ or ‘Happy Kwanzaa,’ as long as you acknowledge what it's all about, the federal holiday of Christmas. If you don't, then Christians start to say, ‘You don't like us. You're anti-Christian, you have an anti-Christian bias.’"
-Bill O’Reilly, November 30, 2005

“And then we’ll put those anti-Christians into re-education programs (we’ll call them ‘camps’) until they learn to love American Christmas™. Amen.”
-Skippy