Quotes of the Morning: Life in a Parallel Universe

“Hume: Secretary Rumsfeld, how does he stand with you?
Bush: Ahh-good, he's done a heck of a job.
Hume: Is he here to stay as far as you are concerned?
Bush: Yes, end of my term is a long time, but I tell you, he is doing a heck of a good job. I have no intention of changing him.”
-Brit Hume interview with George ‘Dubya’ Bush, December 14, 2005

“I found a love I had lostIt was gone for too longHear no evil in all directionsExecution of bitternessMessage received loud and clearDon't change for youDon't change a thing for me”
-INXS, Don’t Change

“Ah.. I remember the last person who got such a rousing endorsement by Dubya.”
-Skippy

“Again, I want to thank you all for -- and, Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job. The FEMA Director is working 24 -- (applause) -- they're working 24 hours a day.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 2, 2005

“You see, the bigger the disaster, the more Bush seems to like it. I think he just loves the stink of corruption and incompetence in the morning.”
-Skippy

“President Bush said yesterday he is confident that former House majority leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) is innocent of money-laundering charges, as he offered strong support for several top Republicans who have been battered by investigations or by rumors of fading clout inside the White House.
In an interview with Fox News, Bush said he hopes DeLay will be cleared of charges that he illegally steered corporate money into campaigns for the Texas legislature and will reclaim his powerful leadership position in Congress.”
-Washington Post, December 14, 2005

“Now this is the same President who refuses to comment at all on the Plame investigation, despite the fact that his right hand man Rove is admittedly deeply involved in outing a CIA agent (though Rove has kept his security clearance somehow), because it is an ‘ongoing investigation’. The DeLay case he seems to have no problem getting into the middle of though. He seems to like surrounding himself with people who work at his level of competence.”
-Skippy

“[Sec. Rice] predicted that the Iraqi elections this week would yield the most democratic government ‘in the entire Middle East.’ She did not mention the long-standing democracy in Israel.”
-Associated Press, December 13, 2005

“Maybe it’s because he lives on Bizarro-world in some kind of parallel universe somewhere and up is down and wrong is right there. A place where people wear goatees and this is true..”
-Skippy

“My decision to remove Saddam Hussein was the right decision. Saddam was a threat and the American people and the world is better off because he is no longer in power.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, December 14, 2005

“Well.. except for the 30,000 civilians we’ve killed in Iraq, or the remainder of the country that is still dealing with the violence and terror of the insurgency, or the instability that the collapse of the Iraq government has brought to the region, the creation of a new terrorist training ground in Iraq, or the thousands upon thousands of dead or crippled American soldiers, or the costs of the war that will still be there when our grandchildren are old. I mean, the world is much better off as long as you don’t count Iraq, the United States or the Middle East. Yep, now that Saddam is no longer threatening us with his dilapidated army and his non-existent weapons of mass destruction the world is a better place.”
-Skippy