Quotes of the Morning: And Now for Something Completely Different

“Political quotes? You expect those from me. Ranting? A given.. Football? SURPRISE! Quotes of the Morning.. unpredictable since 1997 (or so.. Heck, I can’t remember when I started doing this..)”
-Skippy

"Being in politics is like coaching football. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important."
-Eugene J. McCarthy

"If we could get the public as involved and as informed about politics as they are about Monday Night Football, we would not have as many problems. People have to get off their duffs and participate."
-Carol G. Hanson

"Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by committee meetings."
-George Will

"Possession of the ball is the key to winning in football, basketball, and the game of life."
-J. Laing Burns

"In life, as in a football game, the principle to follow is: Hit the line hard."
-Theodore Roosevelt

"Football is a game of cliches, and I believe in every one of them."
-Vincent Lombardi

"There's more violence in one football game than there is in an entire hockey season, and nobody ever talks about that."
-Keith Allen

"When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anybody deliberately . . . unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something."
-Dick Butkus

"To watch a football game is to be in a prolonged neurotic doubt as to what you're seeing. It's more like an emergency happening at a distance than a game. I don't wonder the spectators take to drink."
-Jacques Barzun

"Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, ‘You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.’
‘Yeah,’ I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny."
-Jack Handey

"Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football."
-Fran Lebowitz