Quotes of the Morning: The Triumph of the Willy

“US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Thursday it makes ‘all the sense in the world’ to study the feasibility of designing a nuclear weapon capable of penetrating deeply buried targets.
Rumsfeld defended the proposed 8.5 million-dollar study of a ‘robust nuclear earth penetrator’ at a Senate hearing after it came under fire from Senator Diane Feinstein, a California Democrat.”
- Agence France-Presse, April 27, 2005

“Wouldn’t just buying Viagra have been easier?”
-Skippy

“Men are insecure about the size of their penises, so they go to war. It doesn't take a genius to see the ‘bigger d*ck foreign policy theory’ at work. It goes something like this, ‘What?! They have bigger d*cks?!?!? BOMB THEM!!!’”
-George Carlin

"I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today would last five days, or five weeks or five months, but it certainly isn't going to last any longer than that.”
-Donald Rumsfeld, November 15, 2002

“Rumsfeld’s statement was premature evaluation.”
-Skippy

“We never believed that we'd just tumble over weapons of mass destruction in that country.”
-Donald Rumsfeld, May 4, 2003

“I’ll tumble for ya.. I’ll tumble for ya.. I’ll tumble for ya, I’ll tumble for you.”
-Culture Club

"Beyond abuse of prisoners, there are other photos that depict incidents of physical violence toward prisoners, acts that can only be described as blatantly sadistic, cruel and inhuman."
-Donald Rumsfeld, May 7, 2004

“The Don then re-zipped the mouth of his leather mask.”
-Skippy

“Zed: Bring out the Gimp.
Maynard: But the Gimp's sleeping.
Zed: Well, I guess you're gonna have to go wake him up now, won't you?”
-Pulp Fiction

A Confession
“Once in a while,
I’m standing here, doing something.
And I think,
‘What in the world am I doing here?’
It’s a big surprise.”
-Donald Rumsfeld, May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times