Quotes of the Morning: Laura Speaks

“So now we know who the funny member of the family is.. These are real quotes from a White House Correspondents Dinner that was held over the weekend by the way.”
-Skippy

"I am married to the President of the United States and here is our typical evening. Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I am watching Desperate Housewives. With Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentleman, I am a desperate housewife. I mean if those women on that show think they're desperate, they ought to be with George. One night after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales....I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service code name is now Dollar Bill."
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

"George always says that he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He's usually in bed by now. I'm not kidding. I said to him the other day, George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later."
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

"The amazing thing is that George and I were just meant to be. I was a librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George."
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

"People often wonder what my mother-in-law is really like. People think she's a sweet, grandmotherly Aunt Bee type. She's actually more like Don Corleone."
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

"George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well."
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

''All the Bushes love Kennebunkport, which is like Crawford, but without the nightlife. People ask me what it's like to be up there with the whole Bush clan. Lemme put it this way: First prize -- three-day vacation with the Bush family. Second prize -- 10 days.”
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

''George and I are complete opposites. I'm quiet. He's talkative. I'm introverted. He's extroverted. I can pronounce 'nuclear.'”
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

"I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse."
-First Lady Laura Bush, April 30, 2005

“Ok.. the rest of the quotes were funny, but there is something oddly disturbing about hearing the First Lady discussing the President of the United States masturbating a horse. I’m just saying..”
-Skippy