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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Quotes of the Morning

“I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.”
-Jack Handey

“Some parents and parishioners have accused the Roman Catholic diocese in Orange County of violating church doctrine by allowing a gay couple to enroll their children in a church school.
The group demanded that St. John the Baptist School in Costa Mesa accept only families that pledge to abide by Catholic teachings, the Los Angeles Times reported in Sunday's editions. Church doctrine opposes gay relationships and adoption by same-sex couples.
‘The teachings of the church seem to have been abandoned,’ John R. Nixon told the Times. ‘We send our children to a Catholic school because we expect and demand that the teachings of our church will be adhered to.’
School officials rejected the demand, and issued a new policy stating that a family's background ‘does not constitute an absolute obstacle to enrollment in the school.’
The parents' demand would presumably prevent two adopted boys whose parents are both men from attending the school's kindergarten.”
-Atlanta Journal-Constitution, January 2, 2004

“In related news, the parents then asked that no Jews, Anglicans, Hindus, Buddhists, Baptists, Methodists, Lutherans or other varieties of pagans be allowed to attend, as well as any Catholic families in which there has been divorce or the use of contraceptives. Then they tried to stop those who didn’t have faith in the tri-partite nature of God (three persons, one deity) and those who did not have faith in the assumption of Mary (her miraculous disintegration here on earth and re-assembly in Heaven.. Kind of like a supernatural Star Trek.). Then they were promptly laughed out of the room by anyone who had actually read a single frigging thing Christ ever actually said about understanding and love.”

“Some parents have promised to ask the Vatican to intervene and some have threatened to pull their children from the school. Others are worried the boys' attendance will set a precedent, saying their presence is part of a larger effort by the gay community to change the church.
‘The boys are being used as pawns by these men to further their agenda,’ said Monica Sii, who has four children at the school.
-Atlanta Journal-Constitution, January 2, 2004

“Yep, those sneaky gay people went through all of that effort of adopting children and putting them in a decent private school simply to try to change the church. Not because they love their children or anything. Nope. They are apparently heartless manipulators. Sigh… Idiots like these people make me ashamed of the (mostly good) church that I grew up in..”

“I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”
-Monty Python’s Flying Circus

“You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out God hates all the same people you do.”
-Anne Lamott


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