Quotes of the Morning: The Secret Origin of Commander Guy

"By the way, in the report it said, it is -- the government may have to put in more troops to be able to get to that position. And that's what we do. We put in more troops to get to a position where we can be in some other place. The question is, who ought to make that decision? The Congress or the commanders? And as you know, my position is clear -- I'm the commander guy."
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, May 2, 2007

“Not content to simply be known as ‘The Decider’, or perhaps feeling that that name showed a little too much personal responsibility, Fearless Leader has chosen a newer, better alias with which to battle crime, terror, and the Democratic threat to American Freedom™… ‘Commander Guy’.
Commander Guy, strange visitor from another planet (one where Rumsfeld was doing a heccuva job) with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He uses his super-sensory powers…”
-Skippy

“Senior Bush administration officials told Congress on Tuesday that they could not pledge that the administration would continue to seek warrants from a secret court for a domestic wiretapping program, as it agreed to do in January.
Rather, they argued that the president had the constitutional authority to decide for himself whether to conduct surveillance without warrants.
As a result of the January agreement, the administration said that the National Security Agency’s domestic spying program has been brought under the legal structure laid out in the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, which requires court-approved warrants for the wiretapping of American citizens and others inside the United States.
But on Tuesday, the senior officials, including Michael McConnell, the new director of national intelligence, said they believed that the president still had the authority under Article II of the Constitution to once again order the N.S.A. to conduct surveillance inside the country without warrants.”
-New York Times, May 1, 2007

“…and his amazing abilities to bend logic and reason beyond the breaking point…”
-Skippy

“There -- it's -- you know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 6, 2006

“…to keep America safe and to spread peace…”
-Skippy

“BAGHDAD - A car bomb killed 10 people and wounded 35 near a police station in the Baghdad Shi'ite stronghold of Sadr City, police said.
* BAGHDAD - Three U.S. soldiers died in two separate roadside bomb attacks in Baghdad on Wednesday, the U.S. military said. Two soldiers died and two others were wounded in one bombing in a southern Baghdad. Another female soldier was wounded and later died in a similar attack in western Baghdad.
BAGHDAD - Thirty bodies have been found around Baghdad in the past 24 hours, police said. All had been shot.
BAGHDAD - Several mortar rounds landed in Abu Dshir, a residential district in southern Baghdad, killing three people and wounding eight, police said.
BAGHDAD - A mortar round landed in Sadr City in Baghdad, wounding five people, police said.”
-Reuters, May 2, 2007

“…and American Freedom™…”
-Skippy

“Soaring sectarian violence and government abuses have caused an alarming deterioration in religious freedom in Iraq, prompting a U.S. advisory panel for the first time to place it on a watch list of countries where worship is under severe threat.
Citing gross violations of the rights of Sunni and Shiite Muslims, as well as followers of numerous minority beliefs, the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom added Iraq to its ‘watch list’ on Wednesday. Violations included arbitrary arrests, torture and rape. Iraq joins Afghanistan, Belarus, Egypt, Bangladesh, Cuba, Indonesia and Nigeria on the list.”
-Associated Press, May 2, 2007

“…wherever he goes. The Iraqi people should be happy to have him working on their behalf.”
-Skippy

“PELLEY: Do you think you owe the Iraqi people an apology for not doing a better job? DUBYA: That we didn't do a better job or they didn't do a better job?
PELLEY: Well, that the United States did not do a better job in providing security after the invasion.
DUBYA: Not at all. I am proud of the efforts we did. We liberated that country from a tyrant. I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude, and I believe most Iraqis express that. I mean, the people understand that we've endured great sacrifice to help them. That's the problem here in America. They wonder whether or not there is a gratitude level that's significant enough in Iraq.
-Interview with George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 12, 2007

“Maybe someday they will be lucky enough to have a Commander Guy of their own.”
-Skippy

“Iraq's prime minister has created an entity within his government that U.S. and Iraqi military officials say is being used behind a smokescreen to carry out an extreme Shiite agenda that is worsening the country's sectarian divide.
The ‘Office of the Commander in Chief’ has the power to overrule other government ministries, according to U.S. military and intelligence sources.
Those sources say the 24-member office is abusing its power, increasingly overriding decisions made by the Iraqi Ministries of Defense and Interior and potentially undermining the entire U.S. effort in Iraq.
The Office, as it is known in Baghdad, was set up about four months ago with the knowledge of American forces in Iraq. Its goal is ostensibly to advise Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki -- the nation's new commander in chief -- on military matters.
According to a U.S. intelligence source, the Office is ‘ensuring the emplacement of commanders it favors and can control, regardless of what the ministries want.’
A senior Iraqi army officer who is seeking help from the senior U.S. command said: ‘The Office is not supposed to be taking charge like this. It's overstepping its role as an advisory office. It's not a healthy thing to have. It's people with no power who want to have power.’"
-CNN, May 1, 2007