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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Quotes of the Morning: Homer J for the Rebuttal (again)

“Here it is.. The return of the most popular Quotes of the Morning evah! Homer J for the rebuttal.”

“When I addressed you just over a year ago, nearly 12 million Iraqis had cast their ballots for a unified and democratic nation. The elections of 2005 were a stunning achievement. We thought that these elections would bring the Iraqis together — and that as we trained Iraqi security forces, we could accomplish our mission with fewer American troops.
But in 2006, the opposite happened.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
-Homer Simpson

“The situation in Iraq is unacceptable to the American people — and it is unacceptable to me. Our troops in Iraq have fought bravely. They have done everything we have asked them to do. Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."
-Homer Simpson

“It is clear that we need to change our strategy in Iraq. So my national security team, military commanders, and diplomats conducted a comprehensive review. We consulted Members of Congress from both parties, allies abroad, and distinguished outside experts. We benefited from the thoughtful recommendations of the Iraq Study Group — a bipartisan panel led by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Congressman Lee Hamilton.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

“Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay. Um Can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about uuhhh, things. Uhh... the things.”
-Homer Simpson

“Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...

Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!”
-The Simpsons

“In our discussions, we all agreed that there is no magic formula for success in Iraq. And one message came through loud and clear: Failure in Iraq would be a disaster for the United States.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"Safety? But sir! If truth be known, I actually caused more accidents around here than any other employee, including a few doozies no one every found out about."
-Homer Simpson

“Our past efforts to secure Baghdad failed for two principal reasons: There were not enough Iraqi and American troops to secure neighborhoods that had been cleared of terrorists and insurgents. And there were too many restrictions on the troops we did have. Our military commanders reviewed the new Iraqi plan to ensure that it addressed these mistakes. They report that it does. They also report that this plan can work.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

“Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?

Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called ‘City Fathers’ who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about ‘What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?’"
-The Simpsons

“I have made it clear to the Prime Minister and Iraq's other leaders that America's commitment is not open-ended. If the Iraqi government does not follow through on its promises, it will lose the support of the American people — and it will lose the support of the Iraqi people.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."
-Homer Simpson

"Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil's got a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers."
-Homer Simpson

“A successful strategy for Iraq goes beyond military operations. Ordinary Iraqi citizens must see that military operations are accompanied by visible improvements in their neighborhoods and communities. So America will hold the Iraqi government to the benchmarks it has announced.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques, like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come."
-Homer Simpson

“Succeeding in Iraq also requires defending its territorial integrity — and stabilizing the region in the face of the extremist challenge. This begins with addressing Iran and Syria. These two regimes are allowing terrorists and insurgents to use their territory to move in and out of Iraq. Iran is providing material support for attacks on American troops. We will disrupt the attacks on our forces. We will interrupt the flow of support from Iran and Syria. And we will seek out and destroy the networks providing advanced weaponry and training to our enemies in Iraq.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

“When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power ... like God must feel when he's holding a gun.”
-Homer Simpson

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"
-Homer Simpson

“The challenge playing out across the broader Middle East is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of our time. On one side are those who believe in freedom and moderation. On the other side are extremists who kill the innocent, and have declared their intention to destroy our way of life.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!"
-Homer Simpson

“Let me be clear: The terrorists and insurgents in Iraq are without conscience, and they will make the year ahead bloody and violent. Even if our new strategy works exactly as planned, deadly acts of violence will continue — and we must expect more Iraqi and American casualties.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

“We go forward with trust that the Author of Liberty will guide us through these trying hours. Thank you and good night.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 10, 2007

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."
-Homer Simpson


Anonymous sightunseen said...

"Author of Liberty". did that goofus really say this? Who wrote this tripe?

3:55 AM  
Anonymous Ann said...

"Author of Liberty" is from the fourth verse of "My Country 'Tis of Thee", and is an example of the typical "dog whistle" content Bush always includes in his speeches that he uses to speak to his wingnut audience.


6:14 AM  
Blogger Sporty said...

Does it all mean that we are going to pull a Fallujah on Baghdad? Level the buildings, kill the inhabitants who don't flee, fingerprint and retina scan the survivors, don't let anyone back in. You know, the basic "We had to destroy the village to save it"?

9:16 AM  
Blogger Ed said...

This bothers me as much as the Iran/Syria threats...

"...Author of Liberty will guide us through these trying hours.

Whaaaaaa???? Is he imagining that he's bloody Churchill during the "Battle of Britain"? This sounds like the fine work of Karen Hughes.....


10:26 AM  
Blogger mdhatter said...

We have the Arthur of Liberrty, guiding us to the Liza Minelli of peance and freance

10:46 AM  
Blogger LanceThruster said...

The night of the speech, ABC's "Nightline" was comparing this twit to Lincoln.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, is Chimpy telling us he and his bunch are the extremists?

7:05 AM  

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