Quotes of the Morning: Laugh, Clown, Laugh!

“A decision not to send more troops in Afghanistan would be damaging for Dutch interests in the US, former American diplomat Paul Bremer III warned on Monday.
[…]
Acknowledging Dutch politicians must weigh all the considerations, he said question marks would be raised on the US side about Nato if the mission doesn't go ahead. ‘What is Nato all about if our allies are not prepared to stand should-to-shoulder with us?’
[…]
Consequences would be unavoidable if the Dutch does not send the troops. ‘Time and time again decisions must be taken by the US government, by Congress, that influence Dutch economic interests. It is not difficult to imagine decisions could be taken that would not be in the interests of the Netherlands,’ Bremer said.”
-Expatica Magazine, January 9, 2006

“Translation: That’s a nice country you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if something happened to it. You see, in Iraq we theoretically have the ‘Coalition of the Willing’. In Afghanistan we have the ‘Coalition of the Coerced’. The neighbors there aren’t too fond of us either.”
-Skippy

“Some 10,000 people rallied in Karachi, Pakistan's biggest city, chanting ‘Death to America’ and ‘Stop bombing against innocent people.’ Hundreds of police carrying batons and shields were deployed, but the rally ended after an hour with no violence reported.
Hundreds more rallied in the capital, Islamabad, and in Lahore, Multan, Peshawar and elsewhere, burning American flags and demanding the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan.
In Pakistan's strongest reaction, Information Minister Sheikh Rashid Ahmed on Saturday called the attack ‘highly condemnable’ and said the government wanted ‘to assure the people we will not allow such incidents to reoccur.’"
-Associated Press, January 16, 2006

“Please remember that Pakistan is one of our biggest and best allies in the War on Terra. You should see how they feel about us in places we consider dangerous..”
-Skippy

“Seeking to quell the insurgency and sectarian violence, leaders of Iraq's sharply divided Sunni, Shiite and Kurdish political factions ended three days of contentious talks Monday with a call for a pullout of foreign troops from the country but no agreement on a timetable.
[…]
In Egypt, the communiqué's attempt to define terrorism omitted any reference to attacks against U.S. or Iraqi forces. Delegates from across the political and religious spectrum said the omission was intentional.
‘Though resistance is a legitimate right for all people, terrorism does not represent resistance. Therefore, we condemn terrorism and acts of violence, killing and kidnapping targeting Iraqi citizens and humanitarian, civil, government institutions, national resources and houses of worships,’ the document said.”
-Associated Press, November 22, 2005

“But remember in these times of travail and woe that the Pentagon is there for you, and they can help you deal with the life-changing stress and fear that comes from having loved ones fighting in our great Victory Overseas.”
-Skippy

“When the stress of the war in Iraq becomes too severe, the Pentagon has a suggestion for military families: Learn how to laugh.
With help from the Pentagon's chief laughter instructor, families of National Guard members are learning to walk like a penguin, laugh like a lion and blurt ‘ha, ha, hee, hee and ho, ho.’
No joke.”
-USA Today, January 13, 2006

“Even though you're only make believing
Laugh, Clown, laugh!
Even though something inside is grieving
Laugh, Clown, laugh!
Don't let your heart grow too mellow
Just be a real Punchinello, fellow

You're supposed to brighten up a place
And laugh, Clown, laugh!
Paint a lot of smiles around your face
And laugh, Clown, don't frown
Dressed in your best coloured humour
Be a pallietto and laugh, Clown, laugh!”
- Ted Lewis & His Band, “Laugh, Clown, Laugh!”, 1928

“And you’ll get plenty of practice laughing.”
-Skippy

“Colin Powell yesterday warned that Iran was heading down the same path as Iraq had done before the 2003 invasion and could not be trusted to tell the truth about its nuclear programme.
The former United States secretary of state said he believed Iran posed a serious threat to the rest of the world in the same way that Iraq had done, and he refused to apologise for the action the US took against Saddam Hussein's regime.”
-The Scotsman, January 18, 2006

“Hmm.. Another song comes to mind.”
-Skippy

“Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you’ve
Heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before
Nothing’s changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
...only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love

I was delayed, I was way-laid
An emergency stop
I smelt the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make
A shy, bald, buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
Who said lied I’d to her ?
Oh, who said I’d lied because I never ? I never !
Who said I’d lied because I never ?

I was detained, I was restrained
And broke my spleen
And broke my knee
(and then he really laced into me)
Friday night in out-patients
Who said I’d lied to her ?
Oh, who said I’d lied ? - because I never, I never
Who said I’d lied ? - because I never
Oh, so I drank one
It became four
And when I fell on the floor ...
...I drank more”
-The Smiths, “Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before”