Quotes of the Morning: A Series of Tubes

“You know, every day when I walk down the street people stop me to ask, ‘Skippy, how do you keep up on what is going on in the world? How do you always seem to have your finger on the pulse of the news cycle?’
Ok.. No one ever asks me that. Still, the answer is simple. I read the internets, just like Fearless Leader.”
-Skippy

“Information is moving -- you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, May 2, 2007

“MARIA BARTIROMO (CNBC): I'm curious, have you ever Googled anybody? Do you use Google?
DUBYA: Uhh, occasionally. One of the things I've used on The Google is, uhh, to pull up maps.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 23, 2006

“If you don’t use it, you should.. I’m not sure that I can really describe the Internets properly. I’ll let Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska do it instead.”
-Skippy

“It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.”
-Senator Ted Stevens, June 28, 2006

“Such eloquence. Such vivid expression. He makes the Internet come alive to me. You can imagine how shocked I was then to find out that the obviously well educated Senator Stevens may be involved in a crude and unseemly scandal.”
-Skippy

“Agents from the FBI and the Internal Revenue Service raided the Alaska home of Republican Senator Ted Stevens yesterday as part of a broad federal investigation of political corruption in the state that has also swept up his son and one of his closest financial backers, officials said.
Stevens, the longest-serving Republican senator in history, is under scrutiny by the Justice Department for his ties to an Alaska energy services company, Veco, whose chief executive pleaded guilty in early May to a bribery scheme involving state lawmakers.
Contractors have told a federal grand jury that in 2000, Veco executives oversaw a lavish remodeling of Stevens's home in Girdwood, an exclusive ski resort area 40 miles from Anchorage, according to statements by the contractors.
Stevens said in a statement that his attorneys were advised of the impending search yesterday morning. He said he would not comment on details of the inquiry to avoid ‘any appearance that I have attempted to influence its outcome.’
Stevens, 83, who joined the Senate in 1968, has been considered one of the most powerful members of Congress for more than a decade, including six years in which he held wide sway over nearly $1 trillion in federal spending as chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee.”
-Washington Post, July 31, 2007

“But is he guilty?”
-Skippy

“I am guilty of asking the Senate for pork and proud of the Senate for giving it to me.”
-Senator Ted Stevens, 2001

“Well said sir. Now some of you may be picturing Senator Stevens as being part of the $223 million dollar ‘bridge to nowhere’ boondoggle in Alaska that was pushed into one of the last budgets back when the Republicans ruled the Earth. You would be incorrect. That was the only member of the House of Representatives from Alaska, Don Young.”
-Skippy

“A senior House Republican has come under criminal investigation in the Justice Department's widening inquiry into alleged influence-peddling and self-dealing in Congress.
Rep. Don Young of Alaska, the former chairman of the House Transportation Committee, now is the subject of a continuing criminal inquiry involving possible political favors for a company in Alaska, people close to the case said. Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska, the powerful former chairman of the Appropriations Committee and the longest-serving Senate Republican, is also now under criminal investigation, these people said.
Federal investigators are examining whether Rep. Young or Sen. Stevens accepted bribes, illegal gratuities or unreported gifts from VECO Corp., Alaska's largest oil-field engineering firm, people close to the case said.
It isn't known what VECO allegedly may have received in return. The company has been awarded a series of federal contracts since 2000, including contracts to provide logistics support for arctic research, among other projects.”
-Wall Street Journal, July 25, 2007

“You should read the Internets more often. They are full of interesting tidbits like this. Just don’t read too much. We don’t want to clog the tubes.”
-Skippy