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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Quotes of the Morning: Badgering Iraq

“In a broadly worded legal opinion, the Justice Department has concluded that President Bush's former top lawyer, and possibly other senior White House officials, can ignore subpoenas from Congress to testify about the firings of U.S. attorneys.
The three-page opinion raises questions about whether the Justice Department would prosecute senior administration officials if Congress voted to hold them in contempt for not cooperating with the investigation into the firing last year of eight top prosecutors.”
-LA Times, July 12, 2007

“So the Justice Department has concluded that people who worked for the White House do not have to respond to subpoenas from Congress.. which is currently investigating improper White House involvement in the Justice Department. It is all so wonderfully circular. The Justice Department is blocking the rule of law regarding the Justice Department. Let’s see, we have an autocratic leader, gulags (aka Guantanamo), and now we have law enforcement divisions that are above the law. I’m not so sure that we won the Cold War.”
All that is missing is a government that spreads propaganda (lies) to its own citizens and I think we’ll be there…”

“Early on the morning of Nov. 13, 2006, members of the bipartisan Iraq Study Group gathered around a dark wooden conference table in the windowless Roosevelt Room of the White House.
For more than an hour, they listened to President Bush give what one panel member called a ‘Churchillian’ vision of ‘victory’ in Iraq and defend the country's prime minister, Nouri al-Maliki. ‘A constitutional order is emerging,’ he said.
Later that morning, around the same conference table, CIA Director Michael V. Hayden painted a starkly different picture for members of the study group. Hayden said ‘the inability of the government to govern seems irreversible,’ adding that he could not ‘point to any milestone or checkpoint where we can turn this thing around,’ according to written records of his briefing and the recollections of six participants.”
-Washington Post, July 12, 2007

“That can’t be right! We’re winning the war! We’re beating the terrorists!”

“A new National Intelligence Estimate presents a sobering analysis of terrorism threats to the United States, concluding that Al Qaeda has reconstituted its core structure along the Pakistani border and may now be a stronger and more resilient organization today than it appeared a year ago, according to three U.S. intelligence officials familiar with the draft document.
-Newsweek, July 11, 2007

“If I didn’t know better I’d say that Iraq is a big mistake that has distracted us from really pursuing al Qaeda and has, in fact, actually damaged us as a nation based upon both our military preparedness and our international standing while actually increasing the dangers of terrorism by creating a lawless ‘failed state’ in the middle of the Middle East.
And now for something completely different.”

“THE Iraqi port city of Basra, already prey to a nasty turf war between rival militia factions, has now been gripped by a scary rumour – giant badgers are stalking the streets by night, eating humans.
The animals were allegedly released into the area by British forces.
Local farmers have caught and killed several of the beasts, but this has done nothing to dispel the rumour.
Iraqi scientists have attempted to calm things down. However, the story has spread like wildfire in the streets of the city and the villages round about.
Mushtaq Abdul-Mahdi, director of Basra's veterinary hospital, has inspected the corpses of several badgers and tries to reassure Iraqis that the animals are not a new post-war arrival in the region.
Both the scientists and the soldiers agree that the badger ought not to be a danger to humans, but so far they have failed to reassure the populace.
‘I was sleeping at night when this strange animal hit me on my head. I have not seen such an animal before. My husband hurried to shoot it but it was as swift as a deer,’ Suad Hassan, a 30-year-old housewife said.
‘It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey. It runs so quickly.’
Cell phone video of the badgers circulating in Basra shows a stocky skunk-like animal with long front claws.
The honey badger, or ratel, is known as a brave predator capable of killing a cobra. It weighs up to 14kg.
Sattar Jabbar, a 50-year-old local farmer from Abu Sakhar north of Basra, believes the badger can tackle even large prey.
‘I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece. I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it,’ he said.”
-Agence France-Presse, July 11, 2007

“That is so silly.. The British would never think of using giant badgers for a military purpose..”

“Arthur:(to Bedevere) What happens now?
Bedevere: Well, now, uh, Lancelot, Galahad and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
Arthur: Who leaps out?
Bedevere: (pointing to each knight as he names him) Uh... Lancelot, Galahad, and I.... uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and, uh....
Lancelot: (groans)
Bedevere: (pause) Oh... um, look, if we built this large wooden badger....”
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail


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