Quotes of the Morning: We Welcome Our Zombie Overlords

“Another head hangs lowly,
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence,
Who are we mistaken?

But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head,
In your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie?”
-“Zombie”, Cranberries

“The people who do that are not people -- you know, it's not a civil war; it is pure evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, April 4, 2007

“I am truly sorry to say America that we have failed in Iraq. Despite our best efforts, the evil zombie terrorists have taken over the country. I blame the Democrats for not cheering loudly enough for Fearless Leader. It isn’t like he didn’t warn us.”
-Skippy

“This is a new kind of, a new kind of evil... And the American people are beginning to understand. This crusade, this war on terrorism, is going to take a while. And American people must be patient.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 16, 2001

"Great evil is stirring in the world. We've faced perils we've never thought about, perils we've never seen before, but they're dangerous, they're just as dangerous as those perils that your fathers and mothers and grandfathers and grandmothers faced."
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, November 20, 2002

“A ‘new kind of evil’. Wasn’t that clear enough? We knew for years that Iraq and al Qaeda were developing secret biological weapons that would turn normal, human beings into undead brain-hungry zombies, but would anyone listen?”
-Skippy

"The terrorists have an interest in very serious weapons of chemistry, evil biology and even radiological consequences. We cannot sit still and think that all of the laws we had to prevent previous threats will work."
-John Ashcroft, February 13, 2003

“We’ve already found a number of things which are troublesome, things that relate to the development of the evil chemistry and evil biology that could be very dangerous to the human kind.”
-John Ashcroft, August 29, 2003

“I asked them the other day, would it be okay if I cut a 30-minute tape, a piece of propaganda, no questions, just here -- here it is, here's 30 minutes of me talking. Please run it, not only across your airwaves but run it internationally, if you don't mind. I've got something to say about the conflict and our fight against evil. They said, no, they're not going to do that. If I'm going to get on the news, they've got to ask me questions.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin, November 13, 2001

“See? They tried to warn us! Now it is too late and zombies roam the earth.. It has spread from its initial infection of al Qaeda and Saddam…”
-Skippy

“The war on terror, you can't distinguish between al Qaeda and Saddam when you talk about the war on terror. And so it's a comparison that is -- I can't make because I can't distinguish between the two, because they're both equally as bad, and equally as evil, and equally as destructive."
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 25, 2002

“…and now has spread to Islamic groups around the world.”
-Skippy

“By allowing radical Islam to work its will — by leaving an assaulted world to fend for itself - we would signal to all that we no longer believe in our own ideals, or even in our own courage. But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 31, 2006

“And now there is a danger that zombies may infiltrate America (perhaps disguised as College Republicans) and begin their horrible program of brain-eating!”
-Skippy

“September the 11th taught us an interesting lesson, that while -- by far, the vast majority of people who have come to America are really good, decent people, people that we're proud to have here, there are some who are evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 29, 2001

“The people who did this act on America and who may be planning further acts are evil people... They're flat evil. All they can think about is evil. And as a nation of good folks, we're going to hunt them down, and we're going to find them, and we will bring them to justice. Ours is a nation that does not seek revenge, but we do seek justice.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 25, 2001

“We must stand tough and unified. We must be ever vigilant, and remember to watch your community for signs of the evil zombies spreading!”
-Skippy

“My call to people in this country is that if you want to join on the war on terror, if you want to fight evil, love your neighbor like you'd like to be loved yourself.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, Santa Ana, California, Aug. 23, 2002

“Never give up! And never surrender!”
-Skippy

“And we are fighting evil, and we will continue to fight evil, and we will not stop until we defeat evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, November 2, 2001

“The second pillar of peace and security in our world is the willingness of free nations, when the last resort arrives, to retain aggression and evil by force.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, London, England, Nov. 19, 2003

“And remember, God and Fearless Leader will be there in our hour of need to deliver us from evil.”
-Skippy

“God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, March 3, 2004

“I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, July 9, 2004

“Crap. I think they already got his brain.”
-Skippy