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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Quotes of the Morning: God Bless America

“God has truly blessed America. How do I know? I know because he has spent an awful lot of time talking to people here and getting to know Americans in a special and personal way. He apparently is the spiritual version of a nosy next-door neighbor who just can’t help gossiping. For example..”

“In another in a series of notable pronouncements, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America’s coastline this year.”
-Associate Press, May 19, 2006

“God isn’t all about just threatening America with big disasters. He is also involved in America in a deep and personal level. And he votes Republican. Wait, maybe that’s redundant with the ‘disasters’ bit.”

“During an interview soon after on Fox News's ‘Hannity & Colmes,’ Ms. [Katherine] Harris made public her fresh resolve. ‘Let me just answer the burning question,’ she said. ‘I'm in this race. And I'm going to win.’ She pledged to spend up to $10 million of her own fortune to do so.
In private, Mr. Rollins recalls Ms. Harris saying God told her to stay in the race -- God wanted her to be a senator.”
-Wall Street Journal, May 10, 2006

“Apparently it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than for a crazy rich woman to be elected Senator of the great state of Florida.
God cares about politics a lot. Not only is He working in the Senate race, he is also pushing His candidate for governor.”

“A reverend who introduced Republican gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist during a breakfast with other pastors Monday said the Lord came to him in a dream two years ago and told him Crist would be the state's next governor.
The Rev. O'Neal Dozier said that before the dream he did not know Crist, nor had Crist made known his plans to run for governor.
‘The Lord Jesus spoke to me and he said 'There's something I want you to know,’ said Dozier, pastor of the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach. 'Charlie Crist will be the next governor of the state of Florida.’
Since then, Dozier has spent time with Crist and talked with him at length about policy. He told the group that Crist would be uncompromising in his Christian faith.
‘I introduce to you, as the Lord Jesus has said, the next governor of the state of Florida, Charlie Crist,’ Dozier said.
-Associated Press, May 22, 2006

“Whatever happened to the good old days when a message from God would come with some special effects? You know, burning bush, pillar of fire, that kind of thing. No… Today God seems to have given up His wild youthful days when he’d create a world a week and now seems to spend an awful lot of time talking to people who have too much hair gel and distinctly conservative slants. Maybe He’s just getting old. He does, after all, seem to spend an inordinate amount of time in Florida. He also seems to spend a lot of time there talking to people who (I’m just guessing here) are getting the message wrong.”

“A man sentenced to 90 years in prison for attempting to set his Orlando home on fire with his family sleeping inside said God commanded him to sacrifice his wife and children, according to a Local 6 News report.
Hans Missal, 51, admitted to dousing his Orlando home with gasoline last March. Missal also duct-taped the doors shut and ran a hose from the house to a car tailpipe while his wife, son and daughter slept before he attempted to set the structure on fire.
Tuesday, Missal said he was following God's orders.
Missal compared himself to the Bible's Abraham, who was commanded by God to sacrifice his own son, and said he received a message from God to kill his entire family, Local 6 News reported.
"God had a plan for my family, I had no idea what that plan was," Missal said. ‘I trusted God and God was faithful to the end.’"
-Local6.com, April 26, 2006


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