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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Quotes of the Morning: Plan 9/11 from Outer Space

“I think the job of a problem is to confront problems, not to pass them on to future Presidents and future generations.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 26, 2004

“Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.”
-Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, March 3, 2004

“And now, for the first time, we are bringing to you, the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are bringing you all the evidence, based only on the secret testimony, of the miserable souls, who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the places. My friend, we cannot keep this a secret any longer.”
-Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“I'm trying to absorb that knowledge. I have nobody to talk to. I'm sitting in the midst of a classroom with little kids, listening to a children's story... and I realize I'm the commander in chief and the country has just come under attack.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, December 3, 2001

“Let us punish the guilty. Let us reward the innocent. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?”
-Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“There's no need to discuss innocence or guilt. We know he's guilty.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 14, 2001

“All of us on this earth know that there is a time to live, and that there is a time to die. Yet death is always a shock to those left behind. It is even more of a shock when Death, the Proud Brother, comes suddenly without warning.”
-Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“I was on Air Force One the day of the attack, working my way back to Washington via Louisiana and Nebraska -- making sure that the President was safe and secure.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, November 15, 2001

“Colonel Tom Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?

Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots.”
-Plan 9 from Outer Space

“And we are fighting evil, and we will continue to fight evil, and we will not stop until we defeat evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, November 2, 2001

“September the 11th taught us an interesting lesson, that while -- by far, the vast majority of people who have come to America are really good, decent people, people that we're proud to have here, there are some who are evil.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 29, 2001

“The people who did this act on America and who may be planning further acts are evil people... They're flat evil. All they can think about is evil. And as a nation of good folks, we're going to hunt them down, and we're going to find them, and we will bring them to justice. Ours is a nation that does not seek revenge, but we do seek justice.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 25, 2001

From all I've seen tonight, guns won't do any good. Clay's dead, and we buried him. How are we gonna kill someone who's already dead? *Dead*! And yet there he stands!”
-Patrolman Kelton, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“The press often ask me, well, is this the -- is the evil one hiding from us in Afghanistan, the ones who have done this to America? I said, I don't know. We don't know yet. But we do know the evil one who hides thinks in ways that we can't possibly think in America -- so destructive, such a low regard for human life. And anybody who puts anthrax, trying to kill American citizens, shares the same set of values. Whoever has done it shares that same value of evil that we saw on September the 11th.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 26, 2001

“The folks who conducted this act on our country on September 11th made a big mistake. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander-in-chief, too.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 26, 2001

“Tanna: Eros, do we *have* to kill them?

Eros: Yes.
Tanna: It seems such a waste.
Eros: Well, wouldn't it be better to kill a few now than, with their meddling, permit them to destroy the entire universe?
Tanna: You're always right, Eros.
Eros: Of course. But those are not my words; those are the words of the Ruler.”
-Plan 9 from Outer Space

“I want to send the signal to our enemy that you have aroused a compassionate and decent and mighty nation, and we're going to hunt you down.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 5, 2002

“I am absolutely convinced with time we'll find out that they did have a weapons program.
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, June 9, 2003

“Can you see or measure an atom? Yet you can *explode* one. A ray of sunlight is made up of *many* atoms!”
-Eros, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, June 18, 2002

“Mad? Is it mad that you destroy other people to save yourselves? You have done this. Is it mad that one country must destroy another to save themselves? You have also done this. How then is it ‘mad’ that one planet must destroy another who threatens the very existence-...”
-Tanna, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“Any hopeful society has a growing economy, and I have a plan to keep this economy moving forward.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, September 10, 2004

“Plan 9? Ah, yes. Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead. Long distance electrodes shot into the pineal and pituitary gland of the recently dead.”
-The Ruler, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“We're fighting an enemy that knows no rules of law, that will wear civilian uniforms, that is willing to kill in order to continue the reign of fear of Saddam Hussein.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, March 25, 2003

“Perhaps, on your way home, someone will pass you in the dark, and you will never know it... for they will be from outer space.”
-Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space

“There's no doubt in my mind that when it's all said and done the facts will show the world the truth. There's going to be, you know, a lot of attempts to try to rewrite history, and I can understand that. But I'm absolutely confident in the decision I made.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, July 9, 2003

“My friend, you have seen this incident, based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn't happen?”
-Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space


Anonymous Chawunky said...

Astoniskapatin'. He may as well have been explaining solaronite bombs to us.

2:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah I posted Plan Nine From OUter Space as Bush's foreign policy statement, on Daily Kos, about three or four months ago. WHen I was watching the movie, I almost fell out of my chair!

7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant post! Just remember to keep your eye on Dubya... after all, Inspector Clay is dead... murdered... and somebody's responsible!

9:06 AM  
Blogger Sherry P said...

yes, indeed, someone sure is!

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry, we now have a president and a Congress who propose to defeat world terrorism by getting us trillions of dollars in debt to China and using politically correct synonyms for "war on terror."

Yeah, that'll make the free world safer, all right. I'll bet Osama is sitting in his cave right now trying to come up with kinder, gentler expressions for "Death to America."

Hey, I know -- let's invite bin Laden to the White House, light a campfire on the lawn, make S'mores, and sing "Kum-ba-ya" together ... I'll bet he'll be just as impressed with the gesture as the Iranians were when President Teleprompter sent his video howdy.

7:04 AM  

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