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Four Color Politics

Mainly the Quotes of the Morning, with occasional Other Crap.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Yellow Elephants


“Although the Army will not release its numbers until Friday, it fell about 25 percent short of its target of signing up 6,700 recruits in May, officials said Wednesday. The gap would have been even wider but for the fact that the target was lowered by 1,350.
[…]
Recruiters would have to land more than 9,760 young men and women a month, on average, to reach the 80,000 target by the end of September.
In other words, they would have to far exceed their official targets, which range from 5,650 to 9,250 a month.”
-Associated Press, June 9, 2005

"For the first time since January, the Army met its monthly recruiting goal in June, but still faces what some senior Army officials say is a nearly insurmountable shortfall to meet the service's annual quota.
The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Richard B. Myers, told a town-hall meeting at the Pentagon today that the Army had exceeded its June quota, but gave no details. Senior Army officials said in interviews earlier in the day that the Army had exceeded the goal of 5,650 recruits by about 500 people.”
-New York Times, June 29, 2005

"Wow.. That's great. I am somewhat surprised to find that June, the month of most graduations, is considered one of the months with the lowest target numbers for enlistment, but hey, isn't it special that they got about 6,150 people to sign up? That means that they only need to average almost 11,000 people a month for the next three months to meet their September target. Where are the Young Republicans when you need them?"
-Skippy

"At a table by the buffet was Justin Palmer, vice chairman of the Georgia Association of College Republicans, America's largest chapter of College Republicans. In 1984 the group gained prominence in conservative circles when its chairman, Ralph Reed, formed a political action committee credited with helping to re-elect Senator Jesse Helms. Palmer's future as a right-wing operative looked bright; he batted away my question about his decision to avoid fighting the war he supported with the closest thing I heard to a talking point all afternoon. 'The country is like a body,' Palmer explained, 'and each part of the body has a different function. Certain people do certain things better than others.' He said his 'function' was planning a 'Support Our Troops' day on campus this year in which students honored military recruiters from all four branches of the service.
[...]
By the time I encountered Cory Bray, a towering senior from the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business, the beer was flowing freely. 'The people opposed to the war aren't putting their asses on the line,' Bray boomed from beside the bar. Then why isn't he putting his ass on the line? 'I'm not putting my ass on the line because I had the opportunity to go to the number-one business school in the country,' he declared, his voice rising in defensive anger, 'and I wasn't going to pass that up.'
And besides, being a College Republican is so much more fun than counterinsurgency warfare. Bray recounted the pride he and his buddies had felt walking through the center of campus last fall waving a giant American flag, wearing cowboy boots and hats with the letters B-U-S-H painted on their bare chests. 'We're the big guys,' he said. 'We're the ones who stand up for what we believe in. The College Democrats just sit around talking about how much they hate Bush. We actually do shit.'"
-Max Blumenthal, The Nation, June 28, 2005

"Oh.. Well, I guess if you're busy.. I wonder why they're having so many troubles getting recruits?"
-Skippy


"That insurgency could go on for any number of years. Insurgencies tend to go on five, six, eight, 10, 12 years."
-Donald Rumsfeld, June 26, 2005


“But that’s not what I came to tell you about. I came to talk about the draft.”
-Arlo Guthrie, Alice’s Restaurant

“The draft.. Coming soon to a city near you.”
-Skippy

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Younger and Wiser


“Remember this old news article from yesterday’s Quotes?"
-Skippy


"U.S. officials held secret talks in Iraq with the commanders of several Iraqi insurgent groups recently in an attempt to open a dialogue with them, a British newspaper reported Sunday.
The commanders 'apparently came face to face' with four American officials during meetings on June 3 and June 13 at a summer villa near Balad, about 25 miles north of Baghdad, the Iraqi capital, according to The Sunday Times."
-Associated Press, June 26, 2005

"No nation can negotiate with terrorists. For there is no way to make peace with those whose only goal is death."
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, April 4, 2002

"You see.. apparently the 'insurgents' are no longer 'terrorists'. In order to be semantically correct I think Bush will need to start referring to them as 'freedom fighters'. I guess that the real question is, how long will we be fighting these killers-formerly-known-as-terrorists?"
-Skippy


“It doesn’t make any sense to have a timetable. You know, if you give a timetable, you’re — you’re conceding too much to the enemy.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, June 29, 2005

"Hmm.. Interesting. Somehow I think that a different Republican might have a different viewpoint."
-Skippy


"Victory means exit strategy, and it’s important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, April 9, 1999

“I think it’s also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, June 5, 1999

"I guess that it really is different when YOU are the president. Let's finish up on the words of a different, younger and wiser Republican."
-Skippy


"Accurate judgment is predicated on accurate information. Government has an obligation to present information to the public promptly and accurately so that the public's evaluation of Government activities is not distorted. Political pundits speak of the 'credibility gap' in the present administration. Indeed, this appellation is so widespread that it has become a household word."
-Donald Rumsfeld, February 21, 1967

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Quotes of the Morning

"If you feed a terrorist or fund a terrorist, you're a terrorist"
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush

"U.S. officials held secret talks in Iraq with the commanders of several Iraqi insurgent groups recently in an attempt to open a dialogue with them, a British newspaper reported Sunday.
The commanders 'apparently came face to face' with four American officials during meetings on June 3 and June 13 at a summer villa near Balad, about 25 miles north of Baghdad, the Iraqi capital, according to The Sunday Times."
-Associated Press, June 26, 2005

MR. RUSSERT: The Times of London reports this morning that there have been two meetings between Iraqi and U.S. officials and some members of the insurgency. Is that accurate?
SEC'Y RUMSFELD: Oh, I would doubt it. I think there have probably been many more than that...... They're not going to try to bring in the people with blood on their hands, for sure, but they certainly are reaching out continuously, and we help to facilitate those from time to time.
-Meet the Press, June 26, 2005

“Um.. If we’re meeting with the insurgency, and the insurgents are the ‘front line on the war on terror’ (in other words, terrorists), doesn’t that mean that our government is negotiating with terrorists?”
-Skippy


"I must say, I've been impressed how overblown these meetings are, these, quote-unquote, meetings. I don't know anything about specific meetings on specific days, nor does General Casey, but there are meetings going on all the time between people in Iraq and other people in Iraq, attempting to get them to be supportive of the government, which is, obviously, the logical thing one does in a political process,"
-Donald Rumsfeld, June 27, 2005

“Oh.. Thanks for clearing that up. Now tell me one other thing. The head of the CIA came out the other day and said that he thought he knew where Osama bin Laden was, but that we couldn’t go after him.”
-Skippy


"When you go to the question of dealing with sanctuaries in sovereign states, you’re dealing with a problem of our sense of international obligation, fair play."
-CIA Chief Porter Goss, June 27, 2005

“Yep.. Wouldn’t want to screw up a sovereign state because they harbor terrorists. Nope, we’ll only do that to Iraq and Afghanistan, but that’s different..”
-Skippy


“We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts, and those who harbor them.”
-George 'Dubya' Bush, September 11, 2001

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Comfest is at T-1


“There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.”
-Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)

“I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.”
-George Eliot

“Finally.. The holidays are here. Its Comfest eve. Comfest begins in Goodale park tomorrow and runs until Sunday night. Six stages of music, dancing and poetry. Like bluegrass? Its there. Jazz? There. Blues? Funk? African tribal music? Madrigals? Punk? Good ol’ Rock and Roll? Its all there, along with some of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet (and several that you didn’t know that you’d want to meet). The Quotes of the Morning will return next Tuesday after I have rested up enough to be sufficiently coherent.
Be there, or understand that the cool kids will laugh at you. Happy Comfest everyone.”
-Skippy


“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
-Mahatma Ghandi

“One thing I can tell you is you’ve got to be free..”
-John Lennon, Come Together

“I like ideas about the breaking away or overthrowing of established order. I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder, chaos, especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road towards freedom - external freedom is a way to bring about internal freedom.”
-Jim Morrison

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Quotes of the Morning" Comfest is at T-2

“Homer : Hey who invited the hippy?
Lisa : I did. You owe them for the eco fraud.
Homer : Alright, but I am NOT saving the rain forest.”
-Simpsons

“Comfest is at T-2. The day after tomorrow is the beginning of a weekend of love, peace and harmony (ok.. loud music, drunks and long-haired hippy people playing hacki-sack). Six stages of music, tons of.. unusual.. shops and a general aura of well being. Come down and share the love. You have been warned.”
-Skippy

“This is more important than the ideals that our Hippy forefathers refused to go to war and die for.”
-Homer Simpson

“If I'm gonna be a real hippy, I have to learn from the master. Mr. Bob Flower-Child Hope.”
-Homer Simpson

“Homer: I don't have the discipline to be a hippie.

Marge : Does this mean you are going to shower again?
Homer : ... perhaps ... in time.”
-Simpsons

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Comfest is at T-3. Doh!


“Comfest is at T-3. Somewhere, in a magical land of total peace and harmony, the kegs have already been set aside. The ties have been dyed. The instruments are being practiced, and the mystical power of the Comfest logo has been printed onto the beer mugs. Its in the air. I saw a lion lying down with a lamb on the way into work this morning… Ok, it was a just a cat, not a lion… and it wasn’t so much lying with a lamb as lying on one of my wool sweaters that was kind of thrown on the bedroom floor, but I think that we can all agree that its still pretty significant. You have been warned.”
-Skippy


"Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles’ heel, if you will."
-Homer Simpson

"Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure...not even close."
-Homer Simpson

"Here's to alcohol: The source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."
-Homer Simpson

"Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."
-Homer Simpson

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"
-Homer Simpson

"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."
-Homer Simpson

"God bless those pagans."
-Homer Simpson

“And, as you may or may not be aware, this weekend is also Pride, with the parade running Saturday afternoon past Comfest. So this one seems appropriate.”
-Skippy

“I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”
-Homer Simpson

Monday, June 20, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Comfest is at T-4


“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
-Hunter Thompson

“It is coming.. Comfest is nearly here. We are at T-4 for Comfest. Light a candle at the shrine of St. Jerry, and unfurl your tie-dye. The Holy Season is upon us. You have been warned.”
-Skippy


"Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable."
-Kurt Vonnegut

“I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.”
-Hunter Thompson

“Remember kids... Only Dopes use Dope. Stay away from drugs, and remember the words of our Founding Fathers.”
-Skippy


“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
-Benjamin Franklin

“Stay away from needle drugs. Richard Nixon is the only dope worth shooting.”
-Abbie Hoffman

“Of course, you may need to update that one..”
-Skippy


"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is."
-Homer Simpson

Friday, June 17, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Comfest is at T-One Week


"You are the music while the music lasts."
-T.S. Eliot

“Everybody should be able to make some music...That's the cosmic dance!”
-Maude, Harold & Maude

“Making music should not be left to the professionals.”
-Michelle Shocked

“My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.”
-Vladamir Nabokov

"Comfest is at T-One Week. One week from today, for the course of a weekend, Paradise (though admittedly a drunken, stumbling, ‘Freebird’ shouting, off-key karaoke and air guitar kind of paradise that you would never invite home to meet your mother) comes to earth. You have been warned."
-Skippy


“Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.”
-Hunter S. Thompson

“Thank you dear departed Mr. Thompson. Please note that the Quotes of the Morning (a subsidiary of Fly By Night Industries) do not recommend the use of heinous chemicals or anything similar. Just say no (except to alcohol, which is of course legal, socially acceptable and makes you so much more attractive). Only dopes use dope.”
-Skippy

“Gentlemen, we all know this is illegal and against Club practice and I'd like to ask at this time if you all agree to waive all sanction against said referee or anything that might get me fired.”
-Lou, Caddyshack

“As a side note.. This weekend is another great Festival. Festival Latino. Live music and fantastic food. Friday and Saturday from noon until midnight. Go and enjoy.”
-Skippy

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Cho


"By Mrs. Skippy's request, I give you Margaret Cho."
-Skippy


"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever."
-Margaret Cho

"I’m a feminist. I do my goddess work. But I look at Ann Coulter and think, That’s why women shouldn’t work."
-Margaret Cho

"I slept with a woman once... and I thought, 'Am I gay? Am I straight?' Then I realized... 'I'm just slutty! Where's *my* parade?'"
-Margaret Cho

"Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it."
-Margaret Cho

"I didn't know if I was going to talk about menstruation. But, I thought... I bet if Richard Pryor had a period, he would talk about it. So I felt justified."
-Margaret Cho

"But I guarantee you, if straight men had a period you would never hear the end of it."
-Margaret Cho

"Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate."
-Margaret Cho

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Just Leave the Money on the Dresser


“President Bush on Tuesday unleashed his harshest criticism yet on Democrats for thwarting his second-term agenda, demanding they put forward ideas of their own or ‘step aside’ and signaling a more aggressive administration strategy of attack.
With approval ratings the lowest of his presidency and critics suggesting he is already losing political clout, Bush blamed ‘do-nothing’ Democrats for holding up an overhaul of Social Security and delaying votes on his nominees to the federal bench and the United Nations.
The assault highlighted administration frustrations over Democratic tactics, and offered a preview of Republican strategy in the run-up to the 2006 mid-term elections.
‘On issue after issue, they (the Democrats) stand for nothing except obstruction,’ Bush said at the annual President's Dinner, a $23 million fund-raiser attended by Republican leaders, party donors, and a blond porn star and former California gubernatorial candidate named Mary Carey.”
-Reuters, June 14, 2005

"In the words of Jon Stewart.. 'Whaaa?' The party of morals and Christian values allowed a porn star (and one who has publicly stated that she wants to shtup Karl Rove at that) to go to a Presidential dinner? Why, for the love of God, why? What? She donated money? Well, I guess its ok then. I mean morals and values shouldn't stand up to the power of the dollar.
Honestly, I have nothing against Ms. Carey or even her profession (former gubernatorial candidate). As long as everything is voluntary and no one is hurt I don't care, but to see people who claim such moral high ground (and who I believe would gladly stone Ms. Carey in the streets if that were still legal) allow her in just to make a few bucks goes a long way to pointing out that while Ms. Carey may be a porn star, she's not the only whore in the room. Hypocrisy just seems to follow some of these people around. Let's watch how this works, shall we?"
-Skippy


"A White House official who once led the oil industry's fight against limits on greenhouse gases has repeatedly edited government climate reports in ways that play down links between such emissions and global warming, according to internal documents.
In handwritten notes on drafts of several reports issued in 2002 and 2003, the official, Philip A. Cooney, removed or adjusted descriptions of climate research that government scientists and their supervisors, including some senior Bush administration officials, had already approved.
Mr. Cooney is chief of staff for the White House Council on Environmental Quality, the office that helps devise and promote administration policies on environmental issues. Before coming to the White House in 2001, he was the 'climate team leader' and a lobbyist at the American Petroleum Institute, the largest trade group representing the interests of the oil industry. A lawyer with a bachelor's degree in economics, he has no scientific training."
-New York Times, June 7, 2005

"Bush administration officials said that revisions to reports on climate change by Philip Cooney, a former oil-industry lobbyist now working at the White House, were part of the normal review before publishing projects that involved many agencies.
The White House spokesman, Scott McClellan, on Wednesday defended Cooney's participation and said the reports were 'scientifically sound.'

'There are policy people and scientists who are involved in this process, in the interagency review process, and he's one of the policy people involved in that process,' McClellan said, according to a transcript by Federal News Service Inc. 'And he's someone who's very familiar with the issues relating to climate change and the environment.'"
-International Herald Tribune, June 10, 2005

"A former oil industry lobbyist who changed government reports on global warming has resigned in a long-planned departure, the White House said Saturday.
Philip Cooney, who was chief of staff of the White House Council on Environmental Quality, left Friday, two days after it was revealed that he had edited administration reports on climate change in 2002 and 2003.
His departure was 'completely unrelated' to the disclosure, White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said.
-Associated Press, June 11, 2005

"A former White House official and one-time oil industry lobbyist whose editing of government reports on climate change prompted criticism from environmentalists will join Exxon Mobil Corp., the oil company said Tuesday.
The White House announced over the weekend that Philip Cooney, chief of staff of its Council on Environmental Quality, had resigned, calling it a long-planned departure. He had been head of the climate program at the American Petroleum Institute, the trade group for large oil companies.
Cooney will join Exxon Mobile in the fall, company spokesman Russ Roberts told The Associated Press in a telephone interview from its Dallas headquarters. He declined to describe Cooney's job."
-Associated Press, June 14, 2005

"See. Just lie and cheat and this Administration will provide you cover until you can find a new job with a major donor. Nothing to see here. Please drive through."
-Skippy

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: More Dick


"I only wish I'd seen this one yesterday morning. Yesterday we had a quote by Dick Cheney and one by Howard Dean. Today we have Dick Cheney talking about Howard Dean. Dang."
-Skippy

"Howard Dean is 'over the top,' Vice President Dick Cheney says, calling the Democrats' chairman 'not the kind of individual you want to have representing your political party.'
'I've never been able to understand his appeal. Maybe his mother loved him, but I've never met anybody who does. He's never won anything, as best I can tell,' Cheney said in an interview to be aired Monday on Fox News Channel's 'Hannity & Colmes.'
Dean was elected governor of Vermont five times between 1992 and 2000."
-Associated Press, June 12, 2005


"Let's get this straight.. 'Dick' Cheney, while commenting on how uncivil Howard Dean is, made a comment regarding his mother? You mean that Dick Cheney, who one famously stated 'f*ck you' while on the Senate floor and who called a reporter a 'major league a**hole' is lecturing about civility (while blatantly lying about Dean winning elections)? Its true.. In the post-9/11 world irony is dead."
-Skippy

“Defense officials from Russia and the United States last week helped block a new demand for an international probe into the Uzbekistan government's shooting of hundreds of protesters last month, according to U.S. and diplomatic officials.
British and other European officials had pushed to include language calling for an independent investigation in a communique issued by defense ministers of NATO countries and Russia after a daylong meeting in Brussels on Thursday. But the joint communique merely stated that ‘issues of security and stability in Central Asia, including Uzbekistan,’ had been discussed.”
-Washington Post, June 14, 2005


“See? We ARE fair and impartial. The United States will block investigations of human rights investigations for any and all countries, not just our own (unless of course we are looking for an excuse to invade. Then we care a lot).”
-Skippy

Monday, June 13, 2005


“The important thing here to understand is that the people that are at Guantanamo are bad people…
I mean, these are terrorists for the most part. These are people that were captured in the battlefield of Afghanistan or rounded up as part of the al-Qaida network.”
-Dick Cheney, June 12, 2005

“Um.. As far as I know, aren’t they ALL supposed to be terrorists? I mean, I know its tough to tell since they aren’t actually any, you know, trials or anything to determine guilt, but I’m pretty sure that they are supposed to all be terrorists. What are the other ones? Jaywalkers?”
-Skippy


"Techniques used against Kahtani included inflicting a 'sissy slap' with an inflated latex glove, forcing him to 'bark to elevate his social status up to that of a dog,' and rejecting his request to pray, Time said, citing the log.
Interrogators also played music by Christina Aguilera to keep him from dozing off, Time reported."
-Associated Press, June 12, 2005

"How can they say that there's no torture? They made him listen to Christina Aguilera. I repeat, THEY MADE HIM LISTEN TO CHRISTINA AGUILERA! Dear God, haven't the Geneva Conventions got anything in them to stop that kind of abuse?"
-Skippy


"'My view is FOX News is a propaganda outlet for the Republican Party and I don't comment on FOX News,' Dean said. That was in response to vice president Dick Cheney calling Howard Dean 'over the top' on Fox News on Sunday."
-ABC News, June 12, 2005

"Where could he have gotten that idea?"
-Skippy


“Even we at Fox News manage to get some lefties on the air occasionally, and often let them finish their sentences before we club them to death and feed the scraps to Karl Rove and Bill O'Reilly. And those who hate us can take solace in the fact that they aren't subsidizing Bill's bombast; we payers of the BBC license fee don't enjoy that peace of mind.
Fox News is, after all, a private channel and our presenters are quite open about where they stand on particular stories. That's our appeal. People watch us because they know what they are getting. The Beeb's institutionalized leftism would be easier to tolerate if the corporation was a little more honest about it.”
-Scott Norvell, London Bureau Chief for Fox News, May 20, 2005

Friday, June 10, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Comfest is Coming


"Music is Love in search of a word."
-Sidney Lanier

"Music is the universal language of mankind."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

"Without music life would be a mistake."
-Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned."
-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Modern music is as dangerous as cocaine."
-Pietro Mascagni (1863-1945)

“Comfest is at T – 2 weeks. You have been warned.”
-Skippy

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: All About the Love


"I feel strongly that there needs to be voluntary personal savings accounts as a part of the Social Security system. I mean, it's got to be a part of a comprehensive package."
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, April 28, 2005

"President George W. Bush on Thursday acknowledged that Social Security could be shored up without private accounts in another sign of flexibility about his plan that faces stiff opposition in Congress. 'You can solve the solvency issue without personal accounts,' Bush said in an interview with the Radio-Television News Directors Association."
-Reuters, June 2, 2005

“Let it never be said that Bush can’t change. Shucks, he said that voluntary personal saving accounts just had to be part of the plan, and now he’s saying they don’t. With anyone else I’d call this flip flopping, but with Bush I think that this is just another sign of how much our Glorious Leader is willing to give in order to try to make the world a better place.”
-Skippy


“President Bush granted pardons to seven people Wednesday [...] Those granted pardons Wednesday were […] James Edward Reed, Kaufman, Texas, conspiracy to possess marijuana with intent to distribute, sentenced January 1975 to 18 months in prison and two years special parole.”
-Associated Press, June 8, 2005

You see.. Bush is turning over a new leaf (so to speak). He’s being more forgiving towards those who distribute drugs. I mean heck, he forgave one guy for dealing pot in the 70s (back in Dubya’s party years in Texas), and then this..”
-Skippy


“Federal prosecutors, wrapping up a drawn-out lawsuit against the tobacco industry, are demanding only a fraction of the $130 billion that the government initially envisioned cigarette makers would have to spend on smoking cessation programs. […] Federal prosecutors said they were willing, instead, to accept a penalty of only about $10 billion, for a five-year program to help people kick the habit.”
-Associated Press, June 8, 2005

“See? All about forgiveness and love. Some cynics might think that this is just payback for the $41 million dollars given to Republican Party candidates between 1990 and 2004 by the tobacco companies, or the $7 million dollars given to Republican candidates between 1997 and 2005 by the Tobacco PAC, or the $6.3 million in soft dollars given by the tobacco industry to the RNC between 1997 to 2002, or the $1.5 million given by the tobacco companies to the 2000 Bush-Cheney inauguration, or even the $113 million that the tobacco industry spent on lobbying the government between 1999 and June of 2004, but they’d be wrong. It’s all about the forgiveness and love that Dear Leader shows us every day.”
-Skippy

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: The Wright Stuff


"The doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it, so hill and house could live together each the happier for the other."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"An idea is salvation by imagination."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"The thing you really believe in always happens . . . and the belief in a thing makes it happen."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"Early in life, I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose honest arrogance and have seen no occasion to change."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"Noble life demands a noble architecture for noble uses of noble men. Lack of culture means what it has always meant: ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

"The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. If you foolishly ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it. Your life will be impoverished. But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Noe Problem

“Follow the money.”
-Mark ‘Deep Throat’ Felt

"The rush to divest Noe contributions started after the state seized control of Noe’s coin investment funds May 24 and his lawyer admitted May 26 that up to $13 million may be missing from the Ohio Bureau of Workers’ Compensation’s investment of $50 million with Noe.
Within days, officials ranging from Gov. Bob Taft to U.S. Sens. George V. Voinovich and Mike DeWine to Montgomery all agreed to give up contributions from Noe, a noted GOP power broker who has yet to be charged with a crime."
-Columbus Dispatch, June 7, 2005

"Huh.. I wonder why this seems so bad. I mean, Mr. Noe was just a major Republican fundraiser (and one of Dubya's 'Pioneers') who had been handed $50 million of taxpayer money to invest in rare coins. What could go wrong?"
-Skippy


"The U.S. attorney's office is investigating whether Mr. Noe broke federal campaign laws by giving money to others in order for them to contribute to the Bush-Cheney re-election campaign.
A number of current and former politicians appeared before the grand jury this week, including City Council member Betty Shultz, Lucas County Commissioner Maggie Thurber, former mayor Donna Owens, and former state representative Sally Perz.
All are Republicans."
-Toledo Blade, June 4, 2005

"An official at the Ohio Bureau of Workers' Compensation - the agency that gave Mr. Noe $50 million to buy rare coins as investments for the state - said Friday the bureau also is concerned. A bureau spokesman said Mr. Noe took almost a year before informing them - in an audit report - of the loss of 119 of the coins.
[...]
They were purchased using Workers' Compensation money from a Boulder, Colo., coin dealer by Michael Storeim, hired by Mr. Noe to run Numismatic Professionals. The firm is a Noe subsidiary funded with Ohio money to buy and sell rare coins out of an office in Evergreen, Colo., where Mr. Storeim lives."
-Toledo Blade, May 8, 2005

"As previously set forth, Mr. Noe had hired Mark Chrans to manage Visionary Rare Coin for the express purpose of assisting the Capital Coins Funds with the purchase and sale of BWC investments. During the course of their business relationship, Mr. Noe and/or his related business entities lent or fronted Mr. Chrans approximately $835,000.00-$850,000.00 of BWC funds. Those funds were never repaid to or recouped by the Capital Coin Funds. The Capital Coin Funds have written off those funds as a bad debt. Additionally, Visionary Rare Coin recorded a business loss of approximately $350,000.00 in bad coin deals. Mr. Chrans has publicly stated that during 1998 and 1999 he had purchased and sold approximately $20,000,000.00 worth of coins for Mr. Noe [and/or his related business entities]. Based upon information and belief, these transactions included BWC investment properties."
-ABC13, Toledo Ohio, June 1, 2005

In 1986 Mark Chrans plead guilty to two federal offenses stemming from his involvement in the laundering of drug money during a numismatic coin deal. Those charges were conspiracy to defraud the United States Government for lying to an IRS agent and perjury for lying before a federal grand jury. According to court records, Mr. Chrans laundered $33,000.00 of what he knew to be drug proceeds, earning $3,000.00 compensation for his efforts. Mr. Chrans was sentenced to 5 years probation on the fraud charge and one year in prison on the perjury charge. Mr. Chrans was released from the federal penitentiary on or about February 25, 1987.
-ABC13, Toledo Ohio, June 1, 2005

"According to records pertaining to Numismatic Professionals and obtained by state authorities, a coin assigned identification number NP44032749 was purchased at a cost of $122,990.00 on or about November 20, 2001. Subsequent inventory records from Numismatic Professionals indicates that this coin was sold to 'One Time Customers' on or about September 10,2002, for one cent - incurring a net loss of $122,989.99. Based upon the education, training and experience of this Affiant as well as that of other officials involved with this investigation, the latter transaction constituted a theft offense believed to involve BWC property.
-ABC13, Toledo Ohio, June 1, 2005

“Investigators seized hundreds of rare coins, Cuban cigars, computers, documents, and took custody of 3,500 bottles of wine over the weekend during searches of the home and office of a former employee of Tom Noe, a spokesman for the Jefferson County, Colorado, Sheriff’s Office said today.
As many as 10 investigators and lab technicians spent 12 hours on Friday scouring the Evergreen, Colorado, home of Michael Storeim, a former manager of Numismatic Professionals, which is a subsidiary of Ohio’s $50 million rare-coin venture.
Investigators then turned their attention to the offices of Michael Storeim Inc., where they spent six hours seizing documents, invoices and computers, said Jacki Tallman, a spokesman for the sheriff.
[…]
Mr. Storeim has filed a lawsuit against Mr. Noe, claiming the Maumee coin dealer directed at least two associates to take $500,000 worth of his property. Mr. Noe’s attorneys told Ohio authorities last month that at least $10 million of the state’s assets are missing.”
-Toledo Blade, June 6, 2005

Monday, June 06, 2005

"Can anyone even remember now what Nixon did that was so terrible? He ended the war in Vietnam, brought home the POW's, ended the war in the Mideast, opened relations with China, started the first nuclear weapons reduction treaty, saved Eretz Israel's life, started the Environmental Protection Administration. Does anyone remember what he did that was bad?
Oh, now I remember. He lied. He was a politician who lied. How remarkable."
-Ben Stein, June 1, 2005

“For those of you playing at home, here are a few classic moments from Nixon's administration. I admit that, by today's standards, Nixon wasn't all that bad, but that’s only because the bar is currently set pretty darn low."
-Skippy


"Did they get the Brookings Institute raided last night? No? Get it done. I want it done. I want the Brookings Institute's safe cleaned out and have it cleaned out in a way that it makes somebody else responsible."
-Richard Nixon, July 1, 1971

"When the president does it, that means it is not illegal."
-Richard Nixon

"I don't want to see this country to go that way. You know what happened to the Greeks. Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo, we all know that, so was Socrates."
-Richard Nixon, May 26, 1971

"You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists."
-Richard Nixon, May 26, 1971

"You have to face the fact that whole problem is really the blacks. The key is to devise a system that recognizes this while not appearing to..."
-Richard Nixon, Alone in the White House, p. 110

"Under the doctrine of separation of powers, the manner in which the president personally exercises his assigned executive powers is not subject to questioning by another branch of government."
-Richard M. Nixon

"Sometimes he was correct though.."
-Skippy


"Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too."
-Richard Nixon

"Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?"
-Richard Nixon

Friday, June 03, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: The Fewer, the Proud

“As you may (or may not) be aware, military enlistment is down. For some strange reason many people don’t want to join the military and be shipped off to fight in a war where they are under-equipped and outnumbered with no end in sight and not even a clear idea of who the enemy is. It seems that the military is trying to solve that problem by occasionally lowering the bar a little.”
-Skippy

“Last month the U.S. Army failed to meet its goal of 6,800 new troops.
Aware of this trend, David McSwane, a local high school student, decided he wanted to find out to what extent some recruiters would go to sign up soldiers who were not up to grade.
McSwane, 17, is actually just the kind of teenager the military would like. He's a high school journalist and honor student at Arvada West High School. But McSwane decided he wanted to see ‘how far the Army would go during a war to get one more solider.’
McSwane contacted his local army recruiting office in Golden with a scenario he created. He told a recruiter that he was a dropout and didn't have a high school diploma.
‘No problem,’ the recruiter explained. He suggested that McSwane create a fake diploma from a non-existent school.
McSwane recorded the recruiter saying that on the phone.
‘It can be like Faith Hill Baptist School or something -- whatever you choose,’ the recruiter said.
As instructed, McSwane went on the computer to a Web site and for $200 arranged to have a phony diploma created that certified him as a graduate of Faith Hill Baptist High School, the very name the recruiter suggested. It came complete with a fake grade transcript.
‘What was your reaction to them encouraging you to get a phony diploma?’ CBS4's Rick Sallinger asked.
‘I was shocked," McSwane said. ‘I'm sitting there looking at a poster that says 'Integrity, Honor, Respect' and he is telling me to lie.’
McSwane also pretended he had a drug problem when he spoke with the recruiter.
The Army does not accept enlistees with drug problems.
‘I have a problem with drugs,’ McSwane said, referring to the conversation he had with the recruiter. ‘I can't kick the habit ... just marijuana.’
‘[The recruiter] said 'Not a problem,' just take this detox ... he said he would pay half of it ... told me where to go.’"
-CBS4, Denver, April 28, 2005

"Another way of keeping troop levels drop is to keep troops already in the military that would otherwise typically have been let go due to alcohol or drug abuse, pregnancy or poor physical fitness."
-Skippy

“4. AS AN ADDITIONAL MEANS OF REDUCING ATTRITION, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY SEPARATION AUTHORITY FOR FIRST-TERM ENLISTED SOLDIERS IS ELEVATED FROM THE BATTALION COMMANDER TO THE SPECIAL COURT-MARTIAL CONVENING AUTHORITY (SPCMCA) FOR THE FOLLOWING SEPARATION CATEGORIES PRESCRIBED BY AR 635-200: FAILURE TO MEET PROCUREMENT MEDICAL FITNESS STANDARDS (PARAGRAPH 5-11); PREGNANCY (CHAPTER 8); ALCOHOL OR OTHER DRUG ABUSE REHABILITATION FAILURE (CHAPTER 9); ENTRY LEVEL PERFORMANCE AND CONDUCT (CHAPTER 11); UNSATISFACTORY PERFORMANCE (CHAPTER 13); SELECTED CHANGES IN SERVICE OBLIGATIONS (CHAPTER 16, PARAGRAPHS 16-4 THRU 16-10); AND FAILURE TO MEET BODY FAT STANDARDS (CHAPTER 18). WITHHOLDING OF SEPARATION AUTHORITY FROM BATTALION COMMANDERS, AND ELEVATING IT TO SPCMCA LEVEL, IS DIRECTED BY HQDA PURSUANT TO PARAGRAPH 1-19E, AR 635-200. SEPARATION AUTHORITY FOR CHAPTERS 5, 10, 14, AND 15 REMAIN AT THE SPCMA LEVEL.”
-Army Directive, May 2005

“This is, of course, on top of stop-loss prevention plans already in place that keep troops in Iraq beyond a one year term of duty and which has made the recruiting for the National Guard drop far below target numbers. The Draft: coming soon to a theatre of operations near you.”
-Skippy

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Quotes of the Morning: Bush the Marxist


“Posters that depicted President Bush with a Groucho Marx-style mustache and cigar were ordered torn down at a high school after a student complained.
Theater students, who had created the posters to advertise a satirical play, countered with new posters that have a First Amendment message.
Principal Kenny Lee ordered 100 posters removed from the campus of El Camino Real High School in the Woodland Hills area last week on grounds that they promoted smoking and ‘endorsing one ideology over another.’”
-Associated Press, May 27, 2005

“Freedonia is going to war!”
-Duck Soup

“You know, polls change, Dave. Polls go up. Polls go down. I can understand why people -- they're looking on your TV screen and seeing indiscriminate bombing where thousands of innocent, or hundreds of innocent Iraqis are getting killed, and they're saying whether or not we're able to achieve the objective.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, December 20, 2004

"Blood's not thicker than money."
-Groucho Marx

“We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, November 10, 2003

“I cannot say that I do not disagree wtih you."
-Groucho Marx

“And, listen, we're making good progress in Iraq. Sometimes it's hard to tell it when you listen to the filter.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 6, 2003

"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms."
-Groucho Marx

“Uhh -- Gosh, I -- don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those, uhh, exaggerations.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, October 13, 2004

"I -- I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."
George ‘Dubya’ Bush, March 13, 2002

"Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?"
-Groucho Marx

“This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, February 22, 2005

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
-Groucho Marx

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
-Groucho Marx

“Sometimes, words have consequences you don't intend them to mean. 'Bring 'em on' is the classic example, when I was really trying to rally the troops and make it clear to them that I fully understood, you know, what a great job they were doing. And those words had an unintended consequence. It kind of, some interpreted it to be defiance in the face of danger. That certainly wasn't the case.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, January 14, 2005

"In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people."
-Groucho Marx

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."
-Groucho Marx

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Quotes of the Morning


“If you've retired, you don't have anything to worry about — third time I've said that. I'll probably say it three more times. See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.”
-George ‘Dubya’ Bush, May 25, 2005

“Wow.. I’m not sure that he meant to do it, but I think he just called what he was saying ‘propaganda’. I thought only people like the cold-war Russians supposedly used propaganda against their own people. Well, live and learn (hopefully).”
-Skippy


"We have made the Reich by propaganda."
-Joseph Goebbels

"Propaganda must not serve the truth, especially insofar as it might bring out something favorable for the opponent."
-Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)

"Propaganda is to a democracy what the bludgeon is to a totalitarian state."
-Noam Chomsky

"Today the world is the victim of propaganda because people are not intellectually competent. More than anything the United States needs effective citizens competent to do their own thinking."
-Dr. William Mather Lewis

"Laws just or unjust may govern men's actions. Tyrannies may restrain or regulate their words. The machinery of propaganda may pack their minds with falsehood and deny them truth for many generations of time. But the soul of man thus held in trance or frozen in a long night can be awakened by a spark coming from God knows where and in a moment the whole structure of lies and oppression is on trial for its life."
-Winston Churchill


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